Mission: Pad Thai, Mai Thai, and Muay Thai

'Twas a grand weekend, indeed! Before I begin, my longwindedness is a fact, so prepare thyself.

Last week, I heard tell of 15-20 exchange students taking a weekend trip to Phi Phi island (pee-pee) off the coast of Thailand, 35 km from Phuket (Poo-KET). For the non-painfully-pop-culturally savvy, The Beach starring Leonardo diCaprio was filmed at this gem of an island (2 actually, but one is uninhabitable on account of gnarly terrain...see picture), and it is known as one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Well-known Phuket was tsunami-ravaged, and though restored, its 'get your slutty on' collegiate male-focused tourist attractions have downgraded its appeal to the world traveler in most publications. Phi Phi, though, has yet to feel the inevitable onslaught of Hiltons, Hyatts and hooligans (though we're all relatively hooliganish so I suppose it's a wash).

So the story goes: Nastassja and I decided to join the other students on the beach a day later because of classes, so we arrived into Phuket at midnight on Friday. We took a mini-bus to Phuket Town to grab some drinks and grub (it was Friday night afterall), then planned to take a touk-touk or cab to our hostel, 20 minutes away. On the way to town, the minibus mysteriously stopped at a shoddy little travel agency where were greeted by the venerable Shman. Our first Shman had the body of a football player with lean legs and an upper body shaped like a yield sign. Wearing spike heels and a perky little bra, he/she told us in a breathy voice to get out of the van to wait for another bus to take us to town, and added that she wasn't going to kill us. Well in that case...

So we disembarked, met her colleague, and waited patiently with 8 or 9 others for the second bus. The colleague was unique, and took fewer pains to look the part. About 5' 6", this one had badly bleached hair, pulled back into a messy ponytail in a bright scrunchy...all haired pulled back with the exception of a pair of face-framing mutton-chops, that is. No bra, no fancy shoes, just man-clothes and the voice of Marilyn Monroe. Faaaaaahbulous.

The second bus came, dropped everyone off at their hotels, then heeded our request to go to town. He dropped us off, and only then did we realize that not a touk-touk or taxi stirred in the quiet night, no restaurants were open, and we were in Thailand. Being a resourceful pair of trampers, we had booked the cheapest hostel in sight in case something went awry. We decided to sacrifice our $3.80 USD a piece and do the obvious: walk into the nicest hotel around and ask to stay for free. So we did, saying we were students, had veeeerrrry little money, had just arrived, and were leaving tomorrow morning. After speaking with several hotel representatives, we were tucked in to the lobby couches with easy access to the hotel restrooms to perform our morning ablutions.



Said morning came too quickly of course, notwithstanding the fact that I forgot about the time change and woke us at 5:30 instead of 1 hour later. Not realizing this, we packed up and found a cab to take us to the harbor to board our ferry to Phi Phi. The old driver came down to 100 Baht ($2.50) from 280, drove us to the harbor, told us not to stay because we were, "two babies, no no no no...bad, ts-ts-ts-ts-ts-ts-ts (insert awkward/violent, somewhat suggestive hand gesture), two babies in dark is no good, no good." He brought us to the market in town where we bought awesome sweet rice food wrapped in banana leaves, then back to the harbor. What a guy.

It's worth noting that I have never been disappointed by food in a leaf. I had my first taste in Peru and ever since then, if you wrap flaming shit in a leaf, I guarantee it will be a culinary delight.

The ferry was a pleasant, sunny 90-minute trip to the island. We shopped around before boarding a small long-tail boat (traditional-style long fishing boat with a motor extending far behind like a tail) to our beach. Our resort consisted of 16 bungalows, several ocean-front and the rest in rows behind, plus a central restaurant/reception hut and bar. The private beach was just like the pictures, hence the picture:


We had reserved a back-row room for 1400 Baht/night, or near $40. Upon arrival at reception though, we learned they had made a mistake and only had an 1800 Baht ocean-front room available, and we could not have it for 1400. This is when Tassja's abrasive bargaining skills reared their fierce head. After 10 minutes of the whities telling the natives that it was their fault and we DID NOT reserve the more expensive room, that we have NO MONEY because we are STUDENTS and if they were to come to Switzerland and reserve a room but were charged extra due to the hotel's mistake, you WOULD NOT stand for it, WOULD YOU??? And also that she could call the police, which may not have been the right thing to say. At that point, he decided that we couldn't stay there for any price, but could sleep on the floor with our friends if we had to stay. He was pissed, she was fiery, and I knew the next boat left our beach in 4 hours, our friends already over-filled their rooms, and we wouldn't ever see them if we went somewhere else. So we had a quick pow-pow, and I went to work kissing Thai ass, admitting defeat, and getting our room back. And because I believe in karma, their shitty move of not making good on our reservation came back in two days when they forgot to charge us for two meals and damn-near 15 drinks we had charged to our room. Rock on.

The rest of the weekend was fun, relaxing, full of beach-time, reading, hikes into town, great vistas, drinking and eating and laughing and talking in various languages, and generally a damn good time.

Out of several semi-poor decisions made throughout the weekend, the worst was to go skinny-dipping at midnight on Sunday. Harmless, yes, but being non-natural-ocean-farers, we disregarded the crappiness of a low tide, and leapt in with naked gusto. What was earlier 4-10 feet of water when we were 50 feet from the beach apparently became 3, and what was earlier soft white sand quickly became knives, daggers, urchins, rocks and other malicious things that chomped at our feet and legs. After under ten minutes we all swam/ran/staggered out to perform self-surgery on the urchin barbs stinging our feet and nurse our bloody wounds in our underwear, Cuba Libres in hand.

But no problem, all was well in the morning (Tassja's at the hospital as I type this, seeing if her limp-inducing foot wounds are infected) and we went on our way back to Phuket, then home to Singapore.

Our cumulative respresentation was Canada, France, Ireland, Mexico, Spain, and the United States; we plan to make another exodus from Singapore later in the term.

Lucky me, I'm going back on Friday to climb rocks in Railay :) More posts to follow.

4 Month Vacation

So it begins: holistic neglect of my non-essential coursework, dwindling hours of sleep, excess scholarship money becoming more dedicated to the "important" things in life...you understand. Next weekend, 20+ exchange students are making a pilgrammage to Phi Phi island in Thailand (where The Beach was filmed), considered the most beautiful beach on Earth as it's currently undisturbed by Cancun and Phuket's tourist-targeting development. White sand, crystal blue water, mis amigos borrachos, and cheap everything. After returning Monday night, I will commit three whole days to self-actualization via academia, and then fly to Krabi, Thailand, for a 5-day weekend. I'm taking myself on a date: rock climbing in Railay, some of the most scenic climbing in the world. It's also considered some of the best, but my skill level doesn't warrant boasting about the style points I'll rack up climbing challenging walls. And of course, the icing on the cake: my frequent (and yes Dad, responsible) use of my Hilton Honors AmEx card has earned me a free night in a classy-ass hotel. Thanks to Alpha Kappa Psi, I know what to do in this situation: book one room for "a few" people, invite everyone I know, spend two days and one night exhausting every 5-star amenity, and sleep like sardines.

So that's the low-down...as it happens, my anticipated Spring Break rail journey from Shanghai to Lhasa tanked because the train is turbo popular; that sucks, but I'm going to try to get to Tibet for the week either way, after catching some of the ruckus associated with Chinese New Year.

As for the last few weeks, Singapore is really juicing up its appeal, and becoming quite the nice little city. Kyle came for four days before hitting the road to school in Hong Kong, which was a ton of fun. We did the tourist stuff I hadn't paid attention to and found a great jazz club, awesome free shows and a performing arts library at The Esplanade (SGP's performing arts venue), good eats in Little India and Chinatown, etc. etc. He also brought three days of rain, and thankfully, he must've taken it with him.
The roommates and I went out last night with a big group of students and had yet another good time, though true Singaporean spirit reared its ugly head: at the club, Tassja asked if we could pay for a shot with our free drink tickets. The guy nodded, poured two drink and two shots. We have him our tickets, and he asked for $21. Seeing this misunderstanding, we offered two more drink tickets, but he wouldn't accept them even though the shots were poured and he would have to throw them away if we didn't drink them. In the States, either we would get free shots for being women, or at very least we could expect some leniency on the rules. No dice. Also, I've been trying to pay with a torn $10 bill for days, and nobody will take it. That's Singapore: adhere to the rules under any and all circumstances. Fear creativity. Love your government. (On that note, Singaporean students do not understand the meaning of the political "left" or "right", liberal or conservative. It's wild, but they're completely oblivious. Also, you can be prosecuted for demonstrating if you're doing anything sketchy in a group of four or more.

I'll post some pictures once I find an internet connection that sucks less.

The 26th Day.

While my departure from reviewing monetary policy working papers by the dozen is surely accompanied by remorse, time has come for a brief update in the fashion of anyone who’s ever studied abroad, perfected by the venerable Danielle “Wife of Julian” Julien.

To start, I have to confirm that I am indeed doing schoolwork. By my count, I haven’t been here very long, but genuinely interesting subject matter combined with the bookish, competitive nature of my SE Asian peer group is motivating. In the spirit of positive externalities, my shoddy religious foodhold may improve if I join the economics community in deifying Greenspan, Bernanke, Binder and colleagues. Reverence for the Fed chairman’s famed cryptic statements has apparently rubbed off on me as my writing is becoming increasingly nebulous. Nonetheless, I have the advantage of learning about monetary policy in a pass/fail bubble among students who intend on using the final paper to produce their baccalaureate thesis and gain admittance to some of the world’s most prestigious graduate schools. I believe Mr. T said it best: “I pity the foo!”

It is also worth noting that my Asian Monetary Policy professor wears very large pants. Sure, he’s wide in the middle, but it seems impractical that the legs of the pants remain wide down to hit ankles (which actually aren’t even that far from the waist of his pants anyway). Naturally, such an observation early on will prove quite crippling to the course’s cumulative impact, but I honestly can’t take accountability. They’re really big pants.

I’m also taking 3 finance courses that will transfer back to Carlson, but nothing noteworthy has really happened yet.

I started this trip in Cambodia with my friend Tom who’s traveling in Japan right now, then heading back to MN. Adventure 1: about 2.5 hours into the 5 hr cab ride from the airport in Phnom Penh to Siem Reap, our cab’s transmission went out. Stranded roadside in rural Cambodia, Tommy and I entertained ourselves taking pictures of the 10-12 random children living in a stilted hut nearby, then made earrings and necklaces for them with my handy-dandy jewelry tools and supplies. Then we got bored, flagged down a bus, and went on our way.



Upon arrival, we stayed in a great little bungalow with a phenomenal staff, wonderful little restaurant, and a refreshing pool…we each paid $17 a night, so naturally we were ecstatic and prudently invested our savings on beer to celebrate. We visited Angkor City, a 20+ kilometer loops of 11th century Buddhist ruins—the 8th wonder of the world. I felt 8 years old, climbing on the old stones and exploring these ancient monuments. Me and the other 3 billion tourists, that is, but it was still amazing. Other Cambodian highlights include great photos (Tom’s a photographer: www.pbase.com/tjh4904. His online galleries are GREAT), $2 ear cleaning service, tuk-tuks (a 50cc moto pulling a tourist-wagon, for $15/day) and great weather. We took a packed-to-the-gills boat back to Phnom-Penh across the largest freshwater lake in SE Asia, had the day to sightsee in the capital city, then I flew back to Singapore.

First impressions of this little bitty city-state island, hidden on maps by the dot intended to point to it: it is HOT and HUMID, usually between 80 and 90 and rains for between 20 minutes and 24 hours of the day. There are a lot of people, and they spend all their free time shopping, clubbing, and eating. Every MRT (a brand-new, super classy subway system) stop has a mall attached. The few that don’t are virtually uninhabited, and the rest of them have hordes of people. Every boast a massive food court with a variety of Asian cuisine, and very specific booth names like “pig organ stew” or “econo rice”. With that said, English is their first language, but their grammar is horrendous and spellings are from the moon. Not even England: the moon.

The buildings, landscaping and public works (botanical gardens, the zoo, museums) are all extremely well-kept and nicely designed. The citizens revere the government (a dictatorship, for real) and have a naïve respect for Big Brother’s ability to keep them nicely tucked in at night, safe from bedbugs and bad guys. The government builds, owns, maintains, and profits from its assets. In return, they’re free to tweak policy and grow the economy, all without corporate and personal income taxes. Pretty crazy, right? It works.



So Singapore is pretty cool. It’s nice to look at, easy to get around, and you can find whatever you want to buy/eat/drink all the time. My living situation is solid as well. I’m in an apartment with 4 roommates: TJ is the German who maintains his ego as a full-time job; Nastassja is Swiss, very nice and a lot of fun; Manuel is from Costa Rica, and runs the gamut between painfully shy and giddy-as-a-schoolgirl. He’s a riot. And Joyce is from Hong Kong/Malaysia, went to high school in London, college in California, speaks terrible English (that she claims is flawless), and makes up stories about trips to Switzerland, dancing in a cage, drinking bottles upon bottles of alcohol, etc etc etc. But her good intentions outweigh her ridiculousness (usually) so it all works out. And on her behalf, the girl ate two giant plates full of fish balls (cotton ball-sized balls of fish-composite, the Chinese version of Chicken McNuggets before they were all white-meat) the other night. I wanted to throw up, but it really was a feat.



Also, Kyle (a friend from the U) is visiting before making his way to study in Hong Kong! It will be great to have a piece of home/one of my close friends in town for a few days, and we’ll definitely send pictures to any Fall 2004-ers :D

A short list of miscellaneous items:
People of Chinese descent eat things that smell horrible, including durian, which is a rancid, rotten smelling and tasting spikey green fruit, about the size of a coconut. They’re not allowed in the MRT or other confined public places.

Singaporeans are extremely flexible. In yoga, I’m pretty intermediate, but these people can wrap their legs twice around their heads while clapping their hands.

Starbucks is not Starbucks is not Starbucks.

In non-Singapore-related news, I accepted a job for the summer: I’ll be a summer analyst in the Global Capital Markets group of UBS in equity sales and trading. While still a Wall Street bank, UBS is in Stamford, CT. I think I’ll live in Manhattan for the experience, so please drop me a line if you’re looking for an excuse to visit between June and August!

That’s quite an earful for now...I hope to update this thing weekly-ish, so revisit if you wish!