Isn't that what you think of when you hear "Borneo"? I think that comes from a scene in some vintage Little Rascals short where the main attraction at the fair is a "Wild Man from Borneo!!" and he eats a guy. Something like that. Anyway, I just got back from there, and I didn't meet any cannibals. Or at least noone fessed up to it.So picture SE Asia: there's China, then below is Vietnam and Cambodia, next to them is Thailand, beside and below Thaland is peninsular Malaysia, and then Singapore rests in Malaysia's...vagina, I
suppose. Geographically speaking, of course. Fly an hour or so due East of Singapore, and you're on a large island called Borneo. The Northern part is Malaysia's, the Southern part is Indonesia's, and a little pimple on the top is Brunei Darassalam, an uber-wealthy oil-rich Muslim nation that discourages tourism and alcohol. I didn't want to go there anyway. In Malaysian Borneo, the Eastern chunk is the state of Sabah, the Western is Sarawak. Within Sabah lies the tallest peak in SE Asia, Mt. Kinabalu. It's 4095 meters, or about 13,500 feet, same as Grand Teton in Wyoming. Canadian Dave and Swiss Tassja and I set out to conquer the thing in a day, and once we'd decided it was do-able, we weren't having it any other way. This opposes the national park's policy that all trekkers take two days to climb it, and recommend an additional day for acclimitazation at the base. We found this a bit too pussy-like for our adventurous palette, told the guide we wanted to do a simple day-hike, and went on our merry way.The rules of the "day hike" are that you climb until 2 pm, then turn around and go down. The
rules the summit trek are that you climb to a rest house the first day, stay, spend your money, sleep, and wake up at the crack o' dawn while it's still clear out to reach the summit. The rules of our day hike were to hike fast, reach the rest house at 3000 m at 1, beg the mandatory guide to take us further despite impending rain, reach a safety checkpoint and negotiate with the guide to let us climb to the summit, and show him a good time. Our way won: we made it to the top in just over 6 hours, climbed down to the resthouse, and planned to rent a sleepingbag and crash uni-bed style until the early am when the rest of the hikers summited, and mosey on down. As it happened, the weather was phenomenal, and the clouds that were pouring on the girly men at the resthouse were opening up to bright blue skies at the top. Once we were back at the resthouse, we sat and ached and ate the best Maggi noodles ever (Asian equivalent of Ramen). Apparently our willingness to sleep together on cold wood floors at 3000 m (and the fact that we had zero ringgit...for real) was endearing, and the guides set up a mattress with pillows and blankets for a less turturous sleep. It was great.It's worth noting that we stayed at the New Horizon hostel in Kota Kinabalu, and it was the best hostel experience ever. Not only are folks in Borneo the world's nicest people IN THE WORLD, but a woman named Hazmillah who ran the new hostel was the best of the best. She worked for the tourism board, so had all the tricks and info. The place was simple, clean, comfortable, and convenient for everything. I think if I'm ever lost in any country, I'll just call her up: "Hazmillah, I'm in Egypt. There's a phone booth to my left and a blue hotel to my right. Where to now?" And she'll know.
k, now I have a funny story. The trip was supposed to be 2-part: first, exerting mad effort and climbing a mountain in Sabah, then going to Sarawak for 3 free nights at Hilton's only jungle resort, a luxury historic longhouse deep in the jungle. Free because I have a snazzy credit card that I tend to use, and they reward me for my consumerist habits. To get to the jungle Hilton, we flew from K(ota) K(inabalu) to Kuching in Sarawak, and took a cab to the Kuching Hilton. My itinerary specifically stated the we then take hotel transportation to a jetty, then a boat to the jungle hotel, and it all takes 3.5 hours. As it turns out, it's not hotel transport, it only leaves at 8 am, and it's not free; rather, 100 ringgit/S$50/$30 USD per person each way. Our budget could only accomodate "free", mind you. So they nice little hotel guy offered to switch our reservation to the Kuching Hilton, which was totally ok. They upgraded us to a riverview suite, we cracked open the Johnnie Walker and our packets of Maggi noodles (budget=free) and laughed at our fortune. A few sips in, the desk called and said the rewards point values weren't equivalent, and we could only have 1 free night in the Hilton. Damn. So we hang out at the pool, walk around Kuching, and try to be resourceful. Like most immature efforts at resourcefulness, ours ended in the bar.Picadilly's is a chic little pub, owned by Alex the Malaysian insurance salesman, operated by Paul the English civil engineer, frequented by William the successful Chinese Malay lawyer who spends each evening from 4 until 1 sauced off his little Asian behind, and enjoyed by Iyke, Uche, Chaca and Sweetness, four Nigerian computer engineering students. And we met them all. From the pictures, you can see that William (Bill) is quite the character, and a dancer as well. They were all great guys, bought us several drinks, then convinced us to bail on our reservation to stay overnight at Bako National Park and accept their offer to put us up in a hotel for the night.
The next day, we were booted from the Hilton after attempts at negotiation, assured and denied a room at the Holiday Inn, offered and rejected a discounted room at the Borneo Hotel, then finally offered a FREE room at the
Borneo Hotel. We took that last one. In thanks, we made a pilgrimmage back to Picadilly's to meet the crew again, and had one hell of a time. Not only are they all extremely friendly (reinforcing my understanding of Sarawak hospitality), but generous, fun, intelligent, and interesting as well. Such kindness definitely made an impression on me, and to be so lame as to quote the title of a certain Haley Joel-Osment movie, I plan to "pay it forward" the next time such an opportunity presents itself.Our dear Dave moved on in the morning, and Tassja and I went to Bako for 2 days of great
hiking on our recovering legs. The jungle is a wild, wild place, as are the macaques, orang-utans, proboscis monkeys, bearded pigs, flying lemurs, and various other crazy wildlife that inhabit the place. I'd carry on but this post has likely worn you out already. The pictures say a little, at least.So WOW, what a trip. I'd like to add that our final day's travel back to Singapore went like so: long morning hike, boat ride, bus ride, walk, cab ride, flight, cab ride, bus ride, Malaysia immigration, bus ride, Singapore immigration, bus ride, train ride, cab ride. HOME.
C'est tout, et je retournerai en deux jours. Deviendrez surexcite!
